Tommy Dorfman, a star on Netflix, said she is getting married a few months after her husband filed for divorce.
The 30-year-old star of “13 Reasons Why” said she had “met the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with,” and that person was a “cis woman.”
Dorfman used to be married to Peter Zurkuhlen, but after five years of marriage, they broke up last year.
The actress talked about her fiance on The O.C. star Rachel Bilson’s podcast, Broad Ideas. She also said that she will transition to her true gender in 2021.
Dorfman didn’t say anything more about her bride-to-be than that she was “just a gay girl,” but she did tell her something new about their relationship.
Dorfman told the podcast host, “When I met my person, we would just send each other a lot of songs, and I sent her a Blossom Dearie song.”
Bilson said, “I love how one of the first signs of falling in love is wanting to share music or songs.”
“But I’ve never really done it before,” Dorfman said.
The actress said that her fiancée was the first woman she had been with “a for very long time.” For many years, she had thought of herself as gay, but she said that being with her fiancée was “very affirming.”
“Don’t worry. Also, it’s not safe, and falling in love is scary. So uncomfortable, so painful. All the feelings that everyone has when they are in love are probably the same,” she said.
Dorfman also said, “I knew I liked women in a way I hadn’t really thought about since high school.
“I had this unresolved thing I hadn’t looked into. I told myself, “This is the year I’ll go out on dates with girls again and not feel embarrassed about it.”
“Because they thought of me as a gay man, they were like, ‘Oh, like you’re the safest person in the world,’ and then all of a sudden, I transitioned, and in my head, I became a little bit more dangerous,” the Sharp Sticks actress said.
Before getting engaged, Dorfman was dating Zurkuhlen, a 33-year-old man she met through friends in 2005 and married in 2016. In January, he asked for a divorce.
Dorfman thought about her first marriage and how it helped her feel safe while she was struggling with gender dysphoria and getting ahead in Hollywood.
She told Bilson, “I think I got married to feel safe in a world that was always changing.” “I was just doing things I didn’t know how to do yet.”
In April, Dorfman went on TikTok to talk about her journey to figure out who she is sexually and what gender she is.
“I was a straight boy, then I was a gay boy, then I was a non-binary person, then I thought I was a trans straight woman, but I guess I’m a trans lesbian now,” she said.
In 2021, she talked about her transition in an interview with Time and posted about it on Instagram.
In an interview with InStyle, Dorfman also said that her body change was like going through a “second puberty.”
She said, “I had never seen a body in transition before, and as a trans person, I find that scary.” “It’s kind of strange and has a lot of independence.
“It’s a second puberty if you do it when you’re my age. I think puberty is supposed to happen when you’re too young to remember it because it hurts. It hurts your body and makes you feel weird. But I had a chance to do something good. And most of the time using it in my work.”
Dorfman decided to “hold back” her body and stopped being an actress, except for playing a woman in Lena Dunham‘s movie Sharp Stick.
She said on Bilson’s podcast, “I haven’t worked as an actor since Sharp Stick because I didn’t want to make my body immortal in that way.”
The creator of “Girls” knew that Dorfman was becoming a woman, so she asked her to play her first role as a woman.
She said, “I think it might be good to act for the first time since transitioning with my best friend.”
“Everyone was wonderful, and I knew she would look out for me.”