After almost 10 years together, Beauvais filed for divorce from Nilon, with whom she has twins named Jaid and Jax, in May 2010. The actress said that the split hurt her more than her first divorce because it was so public. “I gave that relationship everything I had to make it work,” she wrote.
Looking back, the Wild, Wild West star said that she “liked the idea” of her and Nilon “on paper,” especially after he “embraced” her son Oliver. When it came to raising Oliver, she “became too lenient, too permissive, and too blind to certain things.” This made the marriage start to fall apart. Beauvais finally decided that instead of asking herself the same question, she would “defer” to what Nilon “thought was best” for her son.
Before she broke up with Nilon, Beauvais “accidentally” found out that he was having an affair by looking at his texts with another woman. When she saw “I love you” in an unread message on Nilon’s phone that wasn’t from her own number, the Haitian model knew something was wrong.
“I felt uneasy right away, and my heart started to beat faster,” she wrote, explaining that she asked her then-husband what she was looking at right away. Before Nilon admitted to cheating, Beauvais said, he stiffened up. “I tried to get him to tell me how long. “I was with someone in Chicago for five years,” he finally said.
The former Franklin & Bash star told readers that it was hard for her to write about how Oliver’s addiction made it hard for her to “grapple with how to best heal her broken son” for years.
“After years of therapy, tears, and heartache, I have to painfully admit that I didn’t pay attention to Oliver when I should have. I thought that because he had the best of everything, things would turn out well,” she admitted. “Unfortunately, it didn’t work out that way. Anxiety, fear, a feeling of helplessness, and worry ruled my relationship with Oliver when he was a teenager and a young adult.
Beauvais remembered crying herself to sleep and being worried when she woke up, trying to guess what trouble Oliver would get into next. “I also had agonizing physical reactions to all the chaos,” she said, explaining that her eczema got worse when she was stressed, causing her “debilitating” pain.
The mother of three said that Oliver’s problems “escalated quickly” after she moved back to Los Angeles, which led their family to reach their “breaking point” and hold an intervention. Beauvais said that she lived through her son’s “turmoil,” but she chose not to write about all of his struggles with addiction in the book.
“From where I’m sitting now, I’ve learned how to stop torturing myself for not being able to see my baby’s pain and help him,” she said. “Today, my Oliver is taking steps in the right direction. He just got married and had a baby.
When she first started out as a model in New York City, Beauvais said she had “so much fun” working with Jordan, even though her name didn’t “ring a bell” when she heard his name.
“I thought he was very tall and handsome. After the shoot, he took me on a golf date and taught me how to hold and swing a club, she wrote. She also said that the athlete later asked her to go to Hawaii with him, but she turned him down. “Like a naive little girl, I was shocked at the idea of going to Hawaii with a man I had just met,” she said.
When she looked back, she admitted, “I messed that up!”
Beauvais had twins in 2007. She was in her 40s at the time. In the book, she talked about the “heartbreaking setbacks” she had to deal with before the boys were born, like miscarriages and failed rounds of in vitro fertilization treatments.
Before the Bravo star’s healthy pregnancy, she was in “pain,” which sent her to the hospital. After she left the hospital, they called her to tell her she needed surgery right away.
“It turned out that the surgery for my fibroids had given me a life-threatening bowel obstruction. My waste was backing up in my system and poisoning my body,” she wrote. “I wouldn’t be here to tell you my story if I hadn’t gone to the hospital when I did. After that, I was shocked and scared to death.”